


Reason to fight

by AlAngel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Canon Divergence, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Insecurity, Michael being an ass, Sadness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-05
Updated: 2017-06-05
Packaged: 2018-11-09 07:39:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11099988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlAngel/pseuds/AlAngel
Summary: Request: Hello!! Could you do a fic where reader is dating Adam but someone comes up to her and lies to her saying Adam has said he is going to break up with her. Before reader can talk to Adam about it he has an accident and temporarily loses his memory. The reader decides not to tell him about their relationship because she doesn't see the point if he wants to leave her anyway. But then he gets his memory back and confronts her about not telling him. Fluffy end please, thanks! Xo





	Reason to fight

Title: Reason to fight  
Pairing: Adam x Reader  
Word Count: ~3.4k  
Warnings: Insecurity, h/c, Michael being an ass, sadness, canon divergence  
Request: Hello!! Could you do a fic where reader is dating Adam but someone comes up to her and lies to her saying Adam has said he is going to break up with her. Before reader can talk to Adam about it he has an accident and temporarily loses his memory. The reader decides not to tell him about their relationship because she doesn't see the point if he wants to leave her anyway. But then he gets his memory back and confronts her about not telling him. Fluffy end please, thanks! Xo  
A/n: Don’t know if that counts as fluffy end. They’re both really broken over this. Anyway if sweet!Adam counts as fluff, I win. If not tell me and I try writing something else xxx  
…  
“So you’re (Y/n)” A voice you knew so well said. When you turned to hug your missing boyfriend the first thing you noticed was his stoic face. Adam didn’t have a picture perfect childhood, like no Winchester really, but at least he had had a loving mum and some sporadic non-hunting related attention from John. He was a happy-ish person and even when he told you about how being John Winchesters third kid wasn’t anything like what the ghoul made the other Winchester brothers believe, he hadn’t looked stoic and distant like this. Instantly you felt something was wrong.  
“Adam?”  
“Michael for you” He said, his face slowly growing into a smile, a cruel smile radiating power and mightiness. “And you’re the to-dump girlfriend Adam’s thoughts tell me all about.”  
The sudden change from stoic nothingness to cruelty took the breath out of your lungs. While rationally you realised this wasn’t the Adam the Winchesters lost on their run from not being vessels themselves, your heart still had trouble seeing the man you loved like this. He didn’t seem to care for you one bit, cold and uncaring were the kindest words to describe his demeanour. All you could do was stand there and watch the archangel break your heart.  
You had thought you had lost Adam already, but seeing him back like this was almost worse than crying your heart out when Sam and Dean told you about what happened. How they couldn’t get back into the warehouse-container or whatever strange gateway they had been confronting Zachariah in. Your heart had shattered into hundreds of pieces then, but now it felt like a thousand.  
“Too bad he didn’t get to tell you himself” Michael smirked, looking almost bored at his finger nails “He was just about to. But he hadn’t yet found anyone better – surprisingly really - and oh… you are a little minx between the sheets, aren’t you?”  
The words coming out of his mouth stung. Michael knew how to hit you deep where it hurt most. Your eyes were about to fill with tears, but you tried to will them down with everything you had, you wouldn’t cry where he could see, you had more self-respect than that. No matter how much you wanted to curl in and cry, you tried to be strong. Hearing your boyfriend grew tired of you and simply stayed for the sex, wasn’t what you wanted to hear from a freaking archangel. Angels were supposed to be kind!  
Or maybe it was the kind thing to tell you? Spare you the hurt of mourning someone who would have swapped you for someone the next chance given anyway. Your head was spinning with hurt and conflicted emotions.  
“And you had no idea, did you?” Michael faked surprise but his voice did tell you well enough how he knew he was breaking your heart with his words. If this really was supposed to be heavenly kindness, that place was even more messed up than you thought. “Well don’t wait up for Adam here. He won’t come back for you.”  
And with that and a flutter of wings the angel was gone and you were left to be a sobbing mess, finally letting all the emotions you had suppressed show. Adam wasn’t gone, he was an angel’s vessel – And even if he weren’t he didn’t want you anymore.  
…  
A knock on your door made you jump up. You had felt the end of the world all day, as dramatic as it sounded the Apocalypse wasn’t something someone forcefully shoved into the supernatural world would miss. Dark sky, a depressing feeling of all things good ending and endless rain as if heaven itself cried. Okay, maybe it was still your sadness and mourning about your lost relationship that made you see the world a little bit worse than necessary. On the other hand that bloody Apocalypse was not only a fact, but your ex-boyfriend seemed to play a pretty big role in it too.  
A louder knock made you finally leave your blanket cocoon on the couch. The dumb chick flick movie had ended ages ago and the ice cream was long melted. Answering the door would at least distract you for a minute.  
When you opened that door though your heart seemed to stand still for a second. On your porch standing was Dean Winchester, holding your obviously unconscious and bloody ex. The pain of whatever had happened was written all over the oldest Winchesters face, you didn’t even want to imagine what could possibly have happened on a day like this.  
“Heya (Y/n)” Dean said with no humour in his voice at all, caring Adam past you and dumping him on the sofa you had sat on a minute ago “I have to get rolling again, I’m just dropping your boyfriend off. See how he feels when he wakes up, last I saw he seemed confused by… well everything.”  
Adam was on the couch in a matter of minutes and Dean was almost out the door again. Fast you grabbed his arm to ask the million questions you still had.  
“Hold on! What happened? Where’s Sam?” That seemed to have been the wrong question, a painful look shot right across Dean’s face. He closed his eyes and shook his head, pain and loss almost overwhelming him. Sam obviously hadn’t made it out of whatever fight – quite possibly the Apocalypse itself – happened today.  
“I’m so sorry” Was all you could say before letting go of Dean’s arm so he could leave. Having met both Winchesters before, you instantly knew it wasn’t Adam who Dean wanted to safe. And although knowing Adam was once again in his life only second choice you didn’t have it in you to blame Dean. Sam was all the family he had – Same as Adam had been everything to you.  
You watched the Impala pull away from your driveway, tears rolling down on your cheeks for the older brother of the man you still loved with every fibre in your being.  
…  
You heard a soft groan and instantly ran into your living room. Some colour was back in Adams pale face, his eyes still closed, but at least he was moving again. It had been hours since Dean had dropped him off and ran. The first half an hour you had watched the man you loved sleep while you cried some more over losing him, but after the initial shock you got a better grip on everything. Adam wouldn’t want you to make a huge scene about this, as far as you knew a vessel would remember what the angel riding him did, so when he would wake up he would know his secret was out and you were dumped. So you left him to sleep and went to do some chores around the house, trying to mentally prepare yourself for facing Adam one last time before he walked out on you for good.  
Finally his eyes fluttered open, first they wouldn’t focus on anything but after some blinking they finally settled on you. However he didn’t look at you with any kind of understanding or recognition, it wasn’t as cold as Michael had made them look, but they also held no warmth like you remembered. Adam really was done with you. Before you could ran away however he opened his mouth and asked in a raspy voice: “Who are you? Where am I?”  
His eyes left yours to study the room surrounding him, no sign of recognition there either, although he had been at your place a million and one times before. Your still shocked head only connected the dots very slowly. Adam had no idea who you were or where he was right now. Maybe Michael did something to his memory, you weren’t sure. All you could do right now was stare at your absolutely oblivious ex.  
“Why are you staring at me?” He suddenly asked, instinctively leaning away from where you were standing. The gesture made your heart ache, but it made sense. You were a stranger to him right now.  
“Just checking, I guess” You were proud of how calm and collected your voice sounded “Do you remember anything from the last days or even months?”  
A hand came to comb through his hair, making them stand out adorably in every direction. His face lost in thought as if he was trying really hard to make some sense of the situation. “My mum passed a while ago?”  
“A bit more than a year ago” You filled in and his head snapped up in shock. He seemed to not remember anything about the ugly ghoul business, his death or anything from what happened after he was raised from the dead. There was obviously no memory of you, his brothers or the whole mess that had been your relationship. You were almost jealous how easy he was getting away, if he was lucky he would not even remember the supernatural crap that was the world now.  
“And you are…?” He tried again and you considered your answer for a minute. But at the end of the day the choice came easy. He didn’t want you and you didn’t need to burden his already fucked up mind with the remains of a relationship he was going to end anyway. Really this was the easiest on both of you. You wouldn’t be a burden to him and you wouldn’t have to hear him say again how you weren’t what he wanted anymore.  
“A friend. (Y/n).” You introduced with a bit of forced cheerfulness “Do you remember your name?”  
“Adam right?”  
“Yes” You smiled “Exactly.”  
“You seem to know me…” He looked at you still in confusion “Sorry, but everything is very fuzzy for me right now. Who are you exactly and what happened?”  
“As I said I’m (y/n), I’m… a friend of your ex-girlfriend. We met a couple of times before.” The lie came surprisingly easy to you and you were somewhat proud of how light your voice sounded with your heart still in a broken state “You had… some kind of bad accident. I think something with relying on the wrong people?”  
He nodded, trying really hard to remember but not getting anywhere. After a moment he shook his head with a groan.  
“Take it easy” You said, purely on instinct touching his arm to comfort the man you loved “You can crash here for a while.”  
You didn’t’ want him around, his presence a painful reminder of the relationship you had and never could have again. But with all the love you still had for him you couldn’t’ bring yourself to kick him out when he needed you most.  
…  
“(Y/n)!” Immediately you ran into the living room, scared by the desperation in Adams voice. It wouldn’t be some more damn angels trying to take him, would it? Or demons. When you finally reached your living room after what felt like ages, your face was red with panic. But the sight that hit you only made your fear worse. It was no physical threat posing danger to Adam, but more of a mental one.  
The young man stood next to your cupboards, holding a picture of the two of you, you hadn’t had the heart to get rid of. Of course he’d find it.  
“What is this?” He looked angry between you and the picture “I… You… Was I cheating on her?!”  
His expression was shocked and desperate, and you didn’t understand. Her? Did Michael lie? was he already with someone the angel didn’t mention. “Her?”  
“My girlfriend” His expression got even more pained and he looked at you with accusation “you said you were her friend! How could we do this?!”  
The words you said before came back to you. Right, you had been claiming to be a friend of his girlfriend. Of course a picture of the two of you, holding each other, his arms wrapped around you from behind and the big loving grins on both your faces wouldn’t work with that lie. Why didn’t you throw out everything that reminded you of your past relationship? Why did you have to be such a sappy fool to hold on to memoires?  
“We didn’t” You clarified, not sure what lie to tell him next. Keeping things from him had never before been necessary before, and even when you planned some sort of birthday surprise for him you’d been terrible at lying and making excuses. It simply didn’t feel right. And no matter how much you wanted to make this easy for both of you, you felt like the worst person in the world keeping parts of his past from him. Suddenly a new plan came to mind. There was indeed one thing you could tell him without lying, something that probably satisfy him as an explanation, but also something that would make him leave. Where you ready to say your final good bye?  
“I did. I’ve been in love with you for the longest time” You admitted, quietly averting your eyes “You’re the sweetest guy I’ve ever met and the most caring son and boyfriend. How could I not fall for you?” You asked quietly in the room, taking a seat on the small couch hiding your face in your hands. Finally you let out all the things that had been spinning in your head since you spoke to Michael. Never had you thought it would be so easy to reduce you to a trembling and rambling mess, but Adam had always brought new sides out in you. “I know you don’t feel the same way. You’re looking for someone better. And that’s fine. It’s just… It’s really hard to love someone so bad and then you think you’ve lost them for ever and then they’re back, but don’t want you. It doesn’t seem fair. But what’s ever fair? The worlds a mess. I’m a mess right now.”  
The sofa was dripping next to you, but you didn’t look up. You hadn’t lied, you were a total mess. Feeling tears in the palms of your hands where you still covered your eyes, trying to shut out all the pain and emotion that was still eating at you, you simply let them roll. Right now nothing mattered anymore. All the good things you had fought for were gone. Even if Lucifer had started the apocalypse it wouldn’t have changed a thing for you. Your world had been broken and lost long before.  
“(Y/n)?” Adam asked softly, but you didn’t need the pity in his eyes, the confusion and the loss for words. Because once again the man who looked like Adam wasn’t him and even if he were he would never again be the man that had promised to love you for ever.  
“Don’t” You whispered “Let me be broken for five more minutes, please? I’ll stop crying and explain then.”  
“Okay”  
…  
You went into the kitchen to clean up your tears and get some water before starting to explain things to Adam in detail. He deserved to know at least the none crappy supernatural things that happened in his past. Sure you weren’t sure how to explain most things without mentioning angels, demons and the devil himself, but he deserved at least some kind of alternated truth.  
Right when you picked up two bottles of water, you heard a sharp scream of pain and the shattering of glass in your living room. Immediately you ran back there. How was it that Adam always got in trouble as soon as you left the room? When you got back there, the blonde man sat on the floor hands bloody and the shattered remains of the picture frame with your picture all around him. As he heard you come in his head snapped up and his eyes met yours, there was pain and loss all over them.  
“Tell me I didn’t let an angel take my body to fight the devil!” He demanded almost desperate “Tell me I’m crazy, tell me I didn’t do all those things. Tell me I don’t have an older brother who’s in hell now because Dean could only hold on to one of us… Tell me. (Y/n), please.”  
You put the water down and went over to him. On pure instinct you knelt next to him, not caring how the sharp edges of the picture frame dug into your knees. Adam needed you now and that would always be more important than some scratches and cuts. You took a hold of his shoulders and pulled him into a hug, the remains of the picture frame slipped out of his hands and he pulled you closer. Soon wet trails were running down his face and therefore your neck. He was crying, sad and unable to cope with all the terrible truth that had come back to him.  
“I’ve got you” You whispered, stroking over his back, trying to sooth some of the pain “It’s not alright, but we’ll make it okay.”  
“How can anything be okay if you’re not there anymore?” His voice was shaking “I remember you begging me to stay safe when I went with Sam and Dean. Then there was Michael – I said yes. Then… Dean pulled me away, I was looking down in the deep dark pit and all I could think of was how I would break my promise to stay safe. He saved me but… My head went fuzzy as if something was sucked right out of me – Michael must have gone down there in the dark. When I woke up here… You’re different now. You… I’m with someone else now? How? When? Why?” His voice had gotten louder, edging on desperate screams “All I wanted was to keep you safe. I didn’t care about the world. But if I hadn’t said yes and Dean wouldn’t… Michael showed me… a world of zombies, infected by some evil decease… you, infected and then killed by the man who claims to be my brother…” Adams soft falling of tears turned into full on sobs, he was devastated and broken – just like you too felt inside “Why couldn’t I save you and keep you?”  
“There are probably still things missing” You whispered in his hair “I don’t know who you are with now or even who you wanted to be with… But… We will find her.” You reassured him, slowly painting invisible circles on his back. This was his time to break down and you would be strong for him one last time. “Michael told me how you weren’t happy in our relationship anymore, how you’re looking for someone else. I’m sure the memories will come back. You’ll remember who you’re looking for.”  
“How can I be ever looking for anybody else if you’re all I wanted?” He pulled away out of your arms to look at you. His sad and desperate eyes met yours, “I let an angel take over my body, because he promised to keep you safe. I let all that supernatural crap I hate in, to make sure the world won’t end. How could I do all that if it weren’t to keep you safe? How could I ever be brave like that if it weren’t for you?”  
“I don’t know” You whispered, his words broke your heart as well as made it beat faster. Your head desperately wanted to hold onto the knowledge that none of this was real, but it was getting harder every time Adam told you how much you meant to him.  
“(Y/n)… I love you” For the first time Adam sounded sure of anything, the reluctance and confusion gone when his hand came to cup your cheeks so your eyes could meet “And I refuse to believe that for some stupid reason I lost my mind and stopped loving you.”  
“How can you be so sure?”  
“Because you’re the last thing I remember before Michael took over and my memories became black” Slowly he brought his face closer to yours “Because you took me in even when you thought I didn’t want you. Because you’re the one person on this whole planet that made stopping Lucifer worth every price. Because I see how you look at me – still exactly like you did in that picture of us. Because all I want is to leave this mess behind and hold you like that again.” His mouth was only inches away from yours “Please. Can you still be my reason to fight?”  
“As long as you’re mine.”  
“Always.”


End file.
